Stupid Things In the Canucks NHL Store

I let a lot of things slide as far as hockey items are concerned. Lord knows I buy enough stupid things. And some of the items in the store are things that would look kind of cool in a bar during one drunken night.


But there are other things. Other things.


Great American Products NHL Shamrock Flask




Completely disregarding that it kind of boggles the mind for the NHL to brand a product with a stereotype – look, a shamrock! Irish people love drinking! – it seems like poor marketing to try to sell something that’s completely unrelated to any of the 30 teams in the NHL. Unless you’re trying to market this to whatever team Pat Quinn happens to be coaching.


Maybe I’m missing some key information about the demographic here. Maybe there are a lot of Irish people who love hockey and throwing back a shot. But even then, are a lot of hockey fans out there scrambling to throw away their money on something with (a) a shamrock; and (b) an NHL logo? Why don’t I just sign up for my t-shirt with the NHLPA logo, too?


And don’t miss its sister product: the Great American Products NHL Shamrock Tankard And Shot Set.


34 bucks? Are you kidding me? It better come with a shot of Grey Goose if you’re expecting me to pay that much.


Wincraft Vancouver Canucks 5 qt. Bucket




There are two reasons why this made me laugh.


1. It’s a bucket. Who buys a bucket with their team’s logo? The only way I could see this being even remotely useful is if it held ice and beer. Or if I were a Flames fan and wanted to take a very vindictive shit.


2. Until I googled it, I thought that this was a golf ball bucket. And golfing is just the thing I want to associate with my team. Again.


Hunter Vancouver Canucks Fan Zone Floor Sign



What really sells this is the awesome flashing yellow light. Let that be a warning to you all!


If at all possible, it’s even cheesier than the Building the Dream poster the Canucks put out in 95, as the Garage was being built.
Or they complete each other.

Dreamseats Vancouver Canucks Leather Recliner



Look, it’s kind of nice. I stress kind of. It’s the kind of furniture that you admire in someone else’s home.


Officially licensed NHL® Dreamseats team themed leather recliners add style and comfort to any home or establishment. Dreamseats are made with top grain dyed leather, equipped with two conveniently located cup holders, and have a ‘Wallaway’ feature that reclines just inches away from the wall.


Okay, Ikea this is not. I don’t know how true their claim is, but it doesn’t look stylish or comfortable to me. But I’m not a fan of leather recliner to begin with.


Sure the chair screams “I’m the ultimate fan!” Is it the logo? Is it the blue-and-grey with what appears to be a maroon trim, relics of the WCE years? Is it the cupholder, keeping your alcohol so conveniently within reach so you can get drunk when they blow yet another lead?


No, it’s the price tag. Because on sale it costs $1079.99 CAD.


Which by itself screams “I’m a dumbass!”


Its sale price can get you quite a nice little half-season ice pak and as many $8 White Spot burgers as you can keep down. For the full price of $1779.99, you can get season tickets with cash left over for parking.


Well, keep trying, guys. Be the little engine that could!


And last, but not least, a product so stupid it needs no introduction.


‘Mark Messier: Leader, Champion, Legend’ DVD.

Happy WJC!

Screw Christmas (dysfunctional families make you feel this). My favourite time of the year: WJC time!

Canada is in the running for a five-peat (knock on wood) and the line-up this year is looking mighty swell.

Players worth watching: Colten Teubert (D), Zach Boychuk (F), Cody Hodgson (F), John Tavares (F)

If you need just one reason… Watch the WJC to see how Pat Quinn does with coaching players who aren’t dinosaurs.

Where to watch: There’s a VOD feed being broadcast at TSN. If you can’t catch the game at home, TSN usually broadcasts a live internet feed of these games.



December 26
GER vs USA – 12:30pm PST – TSN
CAN vs CZR – 4:00pm PST – TSN

December 28
CAN vs KAZ – 12:00pm PST – TSN
USA vs CZR – 4:30pm PST – TSN

December 29
CAN vs GER – 12:30pm PST – TSN

December 30
RUS vs SLV – 11:30am PST – TSN

December 31
SWE vs RUS – 11:30am PST – TSN
CAN vs USA – 4:00pm PST – TSN

January 2
QF #1 TBA – 12:30pm PST – TSN
QF #2 TBA – 4:00pm PST – TSN

January 3
SEMI #1 TBA – 12:30pm PST – TSN
SEMI #2 TBA – 4:00pm PST – TSN
January 5
Bronze TBA – 12:30pm PST – TSN
Gold TBA – 4:00pm PST – TSN

The Sunday Edition: Canucks Survivor

Random story from TL Night

While I’ve been away from blogging for a while in lieu of trying to actually graduate this year, I haven’t been away from hockey. I’ve watched or listened to every game, skipped class to catch the 2nd period, and stumbled home drunk from the Pit in the rain, snow and shine after a win or a loss.

I’ve been eagerly anticipating Trevor Linden Night for some time. When I arrived at GM Place, there were lots of people looking for tickets. We had ours.

A friend of mine was trying to sell off a pair of tickets in order to upgrade to lowers. He’s never done this before. My friend was approached by a man who wanted to get a close look at the tickets and was trying to pull them out of my friend’s hands. My friend resisted. wanting to keep a grip on the tickets; the man got angry.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? I know your fucking game. You fucking brown guys are all alike. You’re all crooks. You’re why tickets are so expensive with your fucking scams. Fucking brown guys. Fuck you—I’m not falling for this, you fucking Paki.”

That was unbelievable. In all of my years of living in Vancouver—shit, son, I grew up here—that was the first time I’ve ever witnessed actual racial hatred being spewed at anyone.

I’m not going to recount my friends’ background or his successes at various levels in university, where we met. He’s not better than that man because he’s smarter or more successful; he’s better than that man because he’s not a racist dumbass.

Are people getting more ignorant, or has this always been the case? Either way, we got into Trevor Linden Night, watched Trev’s numbers being raised, watched a pretty fun game, got coffee, went home and tucked into bed. I don’t know what happened to that guy, but hopefully it involved a little karmic retribution.

Canucks celebrate Sanford’s win

Thanks to user solitary on CDC for uploading it to Youtube!